I’ve always believed that relationships should bring out the best in you, nurture your heart, and uplift you. They should make you feel good, right? However, sometimes, relationships are not always as they seem. You may be dating someone who seems perfect on the surface, but you cannot shake off this nagging feeling that something is off.
What if I told you that your gut might be onto something? Because the truth is, that manipulation in relationships can be incredibly subtle. It’s not always about grand gestures or obvious control. Sometimes, it’s the little things that add up over time.
If you find yourself thinking, “Am I being subtly manipulated?”, know that you’re not alone. In this article, we’ll explore the signs of a subtly manipulative relationship. We’re talking about those tiny red flags that you might’ve overlooked or dismissed.
While it may not be easy to spot, understanding these signs is crucial – because everyone deserves to be in a loving and respectful relationship. Remember: You’re not overreacting. You’re not being paranoid. You’re just being aware – and that’s the first step towards healthier relationships.
So, let’s get started, shall we?
1) They make you question your reality
If you’ve ever:
– Had a conversation with your partner where you’re left feeling like you’ve misremembered things
– Had to hear them insist that an event didn’t happen the way you clearly remember it
This, my friend, is a subtle form of manipulation known as gaslighting. Gaslighting can make you constantly question your memory, perception, and even your sanity. It’s a technique manipulators use to gain power by making you doubt your own experiences. You see, when someone manipulates your perception of reality, they’re essentially controlling how you think and feel. They’re rewriting your narrative.
If this sounds familiar, take it as a sign that you’re not forgetful or crazy—you’re being subtly manipulated.
2) They make you feel guilty for their mistakes
I remember being in a relationship where every argument ended with me apologizing—yes, even when I wasn’t at fault.
One time, we were supposed to meet for dinner. He had insisted on picking the place and time, and I agreed. When I showed up, he was nowhere to be found. An hour later, he walked in with a nonchalant “Oh, I thought it was later.”
Instead of an apology, he turned the tables on me. He said I should’ve reminded him, that I knew he was forgetful. Somehow, his mistake became my fault. I found myself apologizing for not reminding him and felt guilty about it.
This is a classic sign of manipulation. They twist situations around to make you feel guilty for their actions or mistakes. It’s a cunning way to control you and evade responsibility.
3) They isolate you from your loved ones
A strong support network is essential in our lives. Friends and family not only provide company and love, but they also offer perspective, especially when things go awry. Manipulators know this—that’s why they will often try to cut you off from your support network. They might start by criticizing your friends or family, subtly suggesting they’re bad influences, or insisting you spend too much time with them.
The goal? To make you feel guilty for maintaining these relationships. Before you know it, you’re spending less time with your loved ones and more time with your partner. You’re becoming isolated without even realizing it. If you notice this pattern, it’s a glaring red flag. Remember, a loving partner should encourage you to maintain healthy relationships with your loved ones, not alienate you from them.
4) They constantly belittle your achievements
This one hits close to home for me. I was ecstatic when I received a promotion at work, a recognition of all the hard work I had put in. I couldn’t wait to share the news with my then-partner. His response? “Oh, so now you’ll be even busier. Guess you won’t have time for me anymore.”
Instead of celebrating my achievement, he turned it into something negative. His words cast a shadow over my joy and made me feel guilty for succeeding. Looking back, I realize this was manipulation, subtly undermining my accomplishments to keep me off balance and question my worth.
Don’t let anyone consistently downplay your achievements or twist them into something negative. You deserve someone who celebrates your victories, not someone who dampens them.
5) They play the victim card
Did you know that playing the victim is one of the most common manipulation tactics? It’s a clever strategy. If they’re always the victim, then you’re always in the wrong, right? They might use phrases like “You always…” or “You never…” to paint themselves as the innocent party and you as the perpetrator. It’s a way to shift blame and make you feel guilty.
It’s important to recognize these tactics and not let yourself be manipulated. Remember, a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and honesty.
Like seriously 😂